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Sister Laura of the Angels of the Crucified Jesus and Sorrowful Mary
I was born in Miami, Florida, my parents are Cuban and I am the
oldest of four. My parents got divorced when I was 5 yrs old; my
father remarried and had my two brothers. Despite the divorce and
obvious inconveniences we (the children) were raised together. In
terms of religion, I grew up saying I was "Catholic," not knowing
what that really meant and certainly not going to Mass regularly -
we went to Mass on Palm Sunday, Easter and as the years went by we
started to go on Christmas eve.
We tried many times to attend CCD but something always interfered.
It was early in 1997 that after attending my first retreat that the
Lord touched my heart in such a way and I left the retreat knowing I
had to do my First Communion and Confirmation as soon as possible
and I did.
Years later in 2005, on Palm Sunday, was the first time I ever saw
the sisters or any sister that I can recall, I saw them and thought
nothing of it…but somehow that year was different for me. I had
started to go to Mass more often although not regularly, I was
beginning to be more open, more aware of spiritual realities that
without understanding, I understood.
I was invited to a Eucharistic Cenacle, led by the sisters. I
remember thinking it was beautiful but nothing extraordinary, in
truth when it was over I simply wanted to leave as quickly as
possible. One of the sisters suggested I go to another Cenacle so
that she might pray for/over me. This was frightening to me, for a
moment I thought that being a nun could be contagious and wanted
nothing to do with it. After struggling and debating with this for a
few days, I agreed to go, when the time came I stood up and she
prayed for me. I was very moved, I felt something I could not and
cannot describe… during the week that followed I somehow sent word
thanking the sister for her prayers, I do not remember exactly how
but a little over a month later I found myself in the convent
sitting in her office for spiritual guidance.
The meeting with the sister was very fruitful for my life and gave
me much direction. Early the following January sitting under a tree
in my lunch break, skimming through one of the books the sister had
given me to read and praying my version of the Rosary (since I did
not really know how to pray it), I felt, perceived, sensed, heard,
from above me a voice that said I should be a nun. Instantly I
became very angry and upset and yelled back up at the voice, "Is
this what you want of me?!" still upset, I drove back to work and
after a while that interior storm was gone…I was calm and continued
my day as if nothing had happened.
The following Sunday at Mass the priest spoke about vocations, I
thought “how odd,” but still did not say anything to anyone. At work
that week, a co-worker looked at me and said, "you should be a nun,"
I was stunned and surprised but continued to ignore the seed that I
was beginning to realize, but not admit to myself or anyone, had
been planted. The thoughts came pouring in, was I really called to
religious life? Was that really the purpose of my life? Etc…
I finally admitted to a friend that I thought I should be a nun, she
must have understood the seriousness of what I was going through
because she simply and wisely answered that the Lord would let me
know His will; shortly after I admitted to the Sister that was
guiding me. She told me she did not know if I did in fact have a
vocation, but that I was not alone, that she would pray with and for
me to help me discern God's will. I drove home in tears, with the
music as loud as I could stand in an attempt to drown out all that
was going through my head and heart. Two weeks later driving home
from work, I was having a conversation with the Lord and told Him
that I would do whatever He wanted but that He needed to realize who
He was calling, He needed to know that I was weak and wretched and
that I could not do it, without His help. (This is still my prayer
today).
I began a discernment process with the community, my life was
changing more importantly my perception of things and life in
general was changing, I was changing…and I knew in the depths of my
heart that I would never be the same whether I entered religious
life or not. A priest advised that I visit with other communities,
so I made the arrangements, but I knew that my call was to the
Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary. The time that
followed was very difficult and painful and at the same time very
beautiful. The Lord granted the many little and big signs of
confirmation I requested, I could not write them all nor describe
them. Amidst the questions, doubts, fears, times when I thought I
was going insane there were beautiful moments of communion with Him,
moments of clarity, and moments of excitement at the thought of
giving my life completely to Him.
I had the blessing of paying off all my debt, of having some left
money left over for any lose ends and the blessing of joining the
sisters along with my family on a Pilgrimage to holy sites in
May/June of that year. After which, my discernment process went into
a more formal process with the sisters - there began a time of
learning of us getting to know each other. I still had many doubts
and fears, times when I wanted to enter immediately and begin my
formation and other times when I simply wanted to get away from it
all. By the grace of God, I fulfilled all the requirements asked of
me and along with two other candidates was given the entrance date
of March 25, 2007 and so my religious life began. The journey has
not been easy but it has been beautiful beyond words…I pray to
always be faithful and grow old in this community, my life given
totally to Him…
“All
for the Heart of Jesus through the heart of Mary.”
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