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Sister Laura of the Angels of the Crucified Jesus and Sorrowful Mary
My name is Sr. Laura of the Angels Garcia. I come from a large
family. I am the fourth daughter and have seven other siblings. Our
family lived in Managua, Nicaragua. We were a family of scarce
resources but our faith never failed us. We always attended Mass
even with the inconvenience of having to walk 12 or 13 blocks to get
there. I had a precious childhood and I spent joyous moments with my
siblings. I always had a great love for my mother; I always wanted
to be by her side and that is why I think that the initiative to
leave my parents when I was 15 came from God.
I did not manifest my attraction to the religious life as a girl nor
as an adolescent. I also did not have the opportunity to be educated
in a catholic school. Although my parents made the attempt, it was
never possible due to the distance that had to be walked to arrive
to school. It is because of this reason that there was not much
presence of religious life during my childhood, that is, of a closer
encounter with religious sisters.
When I was 15, an aunt who was very close to me became a widow. So I
asked my parents for permission to go live with her to accompany
her. My parents allowed me and I went to live with her. In her eyes,
I was like the daughter she never had. Years later, I could perceive
that going to live with my aunt was what the Lord used to help me
renounce my family.
When I began to study in the university is when I started having
some thoughts about religious life. I was not too happy with my
marketing major and so I became acquainted with the major seminary
of Managua. I met the seminarians and I was interested in their
election of their vocation; I knew it was something special.
In 1989, my aunt who was my tutor decided to send me to the United
States in search of something better for me and I agreed. Before
leaving to the U.S. a priest and friend of the family blessed me.
That detail was very important for me; I felt as if the Lord was
preparing me for something.
Upon my arrival in Miami, I truly missed my family and it was a
difficult time for me. I became employed by taking care of children
and cleaning houses, but soon afterwards I had the idea of returning
to Nicaragua. As I thought of returning something held me back; I
felt that I had arrived in this country for another reason, a reason
that was still unknown to me. I began to attend a prayer group- the
Community of Alliance. It was in this group that I met the Lord and
where I had my personal encounter with Him.
My experience during this time was as if God was convincing me that
I had a mission in this country. I experienced what the Prophet
Hosea said: "So I will allure her; I will lead her into the desert
and speak to her heart." (Hos 2:16). God used my time of exile to
speak to me about his love.
There were two very important people in my life through which I met
the Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary. One of whom is
my aunt who made it possible for me to come to the U.S. and by which
I met Cecilia Jarquin who lived in Miami. Cecilia was the one who
took me to the Community of Alliance where I met the Servants. The
Community was like the family I had left behind. They taught me to
love God and how to take concrete steps in my search for God. I
still did not realize that I had the call to the religious vocation
although everyone around me had the feeling. It was then through the
advice of other people that I began to think more about the
religious vocation.
I think that if I had not left my country I would have never known
that I had a religious vocation. It was during my exile that I
opened myself to the vocation. Many years of trials and
purifications went by. I felt incapable of being faithful to the
Lord, I saw everything so difficult and I did not know who to turn
to. At the same time I yearned for human maternity which I saw very
saintly but I loved the spiritual maternity much more. As a result,
there was an immense indecision in my heart.
There is also another very significant detail that I do not want to
omit. When my closest relatives that I had in Miami, that is, my
confirmation godmother with her husband and two children, left to
Nicaragua I did not have anywhere to live. A young lady from the
community who was preparing to enter religious life welcomed me into
her house. I did not see this as a casualty. A year passed by and I
had to move due to work circumstances and a lady from the community
also offered her house. She had been a Passionist religious and
although she spoke very little of herself she taught me to love the
Crucified Jesus. This is why I took the name of Crucified Jesus in
my religious profession. When I lived in her house is when I began
to realize the struggle I had in my heart. I lived in her house for
three years before entering the convent.
My interior struggle was insecurity. I wanted to be a religious but
I wanted to be sure. I only wanted to do the will of God so I
decided to go on a retreat. After this retreat I only had one
question. I knew that the Lord was calling me to be His but I did
not know how this would take place. I also could say that the Lord
made me remember a dream that I constantly had during my early
twenties. I dreamt that it was my wedding day; I was the only one in
the altar and I was dressed in white. I was waiting for the husband
whom I still did not know; I was waiting to know the Lord. I began
to attend mass daily. At the end of around six months the Lord
strengthened me for my “fiat.”
In 1992, Hurricane Andrew struck Miami. I remember that two weeks
later a Mass was celebrated in Saint Joachim Parrish and many
religious from Miami attended. I spent the entire celebration with
my heart ready to burst. I felt an immense suffering, so I received
a special grace. The Lord made me see, as the good teacher, when my
pain was greatest: if it was when I thought I would not be a mother
of a family or when I thought I would not be a religious. I
recognized that my suffering was strongest when I thought I would
not be a religious. Later I said to myself: why not live as a
religious given that it would not be my sole work but, above all,
the work of God? From that moment until now I have not had any
doubts about my vocation.
Afterwards, I asked the Lord to show me the community that he
desired for me. Another important detail is that I wanted to be a
religious who wears a habit. I was attracted to the Carmelite Order
but I sought to fulfill the will of God. I called the Carmelites and
I arranged a visit but there was always an inconvenience. I felt
that the Lord did not want that community for me. I wrote to a
prayerful person asking for prayers for me and for my intention to
enter the religious life. A month later, I received a letter which
truly was a response from God. The letter was about Mother Adela and
her new congregation-Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and
Mary. What was most surprising was that I had not mentioned the
Servants in my letter. I cried extensively upon reading the letter
and feeling the love of God and all of His care for me. It was then
that I understood the will of God for my life.
Later I came into closer contact with the Servants and I began the
process of getting to know the community and religious life more in
depth. On October 16th of 1996, the day of Saint Margaret Mary of
Alacoque, I professed my first vows.
I hope that this short excerpt of my life may help those who, like
me, seek to fulfill the will of God.
May God bless you!
“All
for the Heart of Jesus through the heart of Mary.”
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