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Where do I begin? So that I may talk about the call from the Lord, I
have to begin by recalling how He, in his infinite mercy, made me
return to the Catholic Church. Only afterwards may I speak about the
call to the religious vocation.
I was baptized in the
Catholic Church on October 16th of 1966, the feast day for Saint
Margaret Mary of Alacoque. Due to circumstances in my family, my
mother became a member of the Baptist Church, and with her, my
brother and I, we began to go to that church at an early age; I
would say since I was six years old. All of my religious formation
was based on what we were taught in Sunday school and in the prayers
and Scripture readings that our mother would ask my brother and me
before going to sleep. I started growing in the love for God, in his
word, and, at the same time, I lived with a rejection towards the
Catholic Church and with a desire to convert all of the Catholics to
the Baptist Church.
I really enjoyed reading Sacred Scripture and books that would
inspire me to pray and learn about God. We tried not to miss the
nights of worship and Sunday school. Every summer I would attend
summer camp where my love and zeal for God would increase in my
heart. In this way, the desire to be a “missionary” one day and take
the Word of God to Africa or places unknown to Jesus would start
taking shape in my heart.
From the Baptist Church we went to the Evangelical one. And there,
in my adolescent years, it was instilled in me the rejection of
everything that had to do with the Catholic Church, especially the
Eucharist and the Virgin Mary. Years passed by. My father died when
I was 15 years old, and this was a difficult time, but our faith and
love for the Lord gave us support. Upon my entrance to the
University, I studied Medical Technology, although my dream was to
become a physician. During this time, I met various Catholic friends
who helped me considerably; but we could not speak of religion
because I still held in my heart much rejection and aversion towards
the Catholic Church. This took place in the years of 1984-1985. Upon
entering the University, my priorities began to change and although
I continued to pray and read the Bible, I did not attend church
because my studies occupied much of my time.
In the summer of 1985, I was offered an opportunity to study abroad.
The Lord made it possible for me to study for two years in a
university in Puerto Rico. During this period, whatever remained of
my prayer life and of my Bible reading time was lost completely. I
had other interests and I strayed away from God. Nonetheless, in His
infinite love, He never drifted apart from me. All the contrary- I
would soon discover the immensity of his love and mercy for me.
In the year of 1987, an illness of my paternal grandfather made me
return to the Dominican Republic. Blessed illness! An opportunity
arose so that I could begin medical school and that is what I did. I
was finally studying for which my heart had always yearned- to
become a physician so that I could help others.
However, the plans of the Lord began to be revealed. I began to come
in contact again with my Catholic friends who invited me to a
charismatic prayer group. I attended the first time with many
reservations. My heart and thoughts were full of many prejudices
against the Church and that barrier prevented me from clearly
seeing. Nonetheless, my heart experienced a profound peace and a
desire to go back and be close to God.
A few weeks later, they invited me again and I consented to go. This
time, the Lord had designated the moment that he would touch my
heart with his grace. That night they spoke about the parable of the
prodigal son, and this word penetrated my heart in such a way that I
felt the voice of God letting me know that I was that prodigal child
whom He was calling back to Him that night. In my heart I
experienced the love of God so profoundly that I could not stop
crying. I was moved so considerably that when they asked for
testimonies, I stood up, took the microphone and I said these words:
“Tonight I felt that God spoke to me and that I am that prodigal
daughter whom He is calling.”
In a meeting that took place at the beginning of October of 1987, a
retreat of three days was announced and I thought inside of me: “I
am going to go, I do not think that it would harm me; besides, I
need some rest.” The retreat was the weekend from the 23rd to the
25th of October of that same year. They were days that I will never
forget because they changed my life forever.
Many things occurred during that weekend. The Lord, with his
infinite mercy and goodness, started to attract me little by little
with “bonds of love” as the prophet says. It was his Eucharistic
Heart that was revealed to me and that captivated me. I will proceed
to explain this better. After a long day of conferences, in which I
was not able to stop crying because I felt how the Lord was speaking
to my heart, the great surprise of the night was announced: there
would be the exposition of the “Blessed Sacrament” all night and
whoever wanted to stay was free to do so. That was the first time in
my life that I heard the words “Blessed Sacrament.” I did not have
the slightest clue about what they were talking, but I was not going
to ask. Instead, I simply decided that if I did not like it, be it
whatever it was, I would go to sleep.
What a surprise the Lord had prepared for me! Before the celebration
of the Holy Mass, those present received the sacrament of
Confession. I believe that all of those who went on the retreat went
to Confession, except for me. Nonetheless, meanwhile I would see
each person pass by, something was happening in my heart. I had a
desire to get close and speak to a priest. What insanity for me, a
Protestant, and I could not do that! That was impossible for me. The
Holy Mass started somewhat later and during the moment of Communion
my heart felt a great desire to receive Communion. However, I knew
that I could not do so since I was not Catholic. What a grace! God
would reveal himself to me through the Sacraments. By a movement of
grace, although not consciously, my soul, thirsty and hungry for
God, recognized the presence of the "Bread of Life."
Once Communion was finished, the grand moment came- the exposition
of the Blessed Sacrament. Meanwhile I noticed how the Altar was
prepared, I moved towards the back, with the intention of waiting to
see what it was and then leaving to go to sleep. What an undeserved
grace the Lord had reserved for me. I will never become tired of
thanking the Lord. Meanwhile I still have life, I will always be
grateful to the Lord for this that I call the first act of mercy
towards me: when they placed the Consecrated Host in the Monstrance,
and then placed it on the Altar, the only thing I could do was fall
on my knees. In that moment when I contemplated, for the first time
in my 21 years of life, Jesus in the Blessed Sacrament, I suddenly
knew that I was in the presence of my God, of Jesus, the Lamb of God
who takes away the sins of the world.
I acknowledge that it was a grace infused in my soul during that
moment, and I could say that from that day until now, 16 years
later, I have never doubted the real presence of Jesus in the
Eucharist. Blessed be the night that the Savior, hidden in the
Consecrated Host, was revealed to me!
The next day, I told the Lord that His will be done in me, as
Blessed Mary said. However, the Lord still had not finished the work
that he wanted to accomplish in me. What came next was the teaching
on the Virgin Mary, the second point of major difficulty in my
heart. Meanwhile the lecturer spoke, he would repeat these words
"And here there is someone who does not like what I am saying, but I
have to say it, because this is my faith and the truth!"
Upon hearing these words repeatedly, I thought: "All of these people
know that I am a Protestant, and that is why they are saying this."
The talk finished, and as I approached my friend who had accompanied
me I found her crying and I asked her why. She told me "Didn't you
hear what they were saying in the talk?" And I responded that I had
and that they were probably referring to me because they knew I was
a Protestant. So then, my friend saw me and said: "I have something
to tell you: When you gave me the registration form for the retreat,
I noticed that you had responded to the question that asked if you
had an affiliation to another church and to write down the name, and
you wrote Evangelical. When I read that, I ripped that form and I
filled out another one in which I did not write anything related to
that. That is why I am crying, because God is calling you." When she
confessed this to me, the theory that I thought everyone knew I was
a Protestant fell and I began to cry because I was convinced that
spoke to me.
In that moment, I stood up, looked for the priest, and I spoke with
him for two hours. I could say that it was my first confession. He
helped me, prepared me for some months and when I was ready, he gave
me my First Holy Communion, also another day that I will not forget.
After this, I started getting more involved in the Renovation,
working where I was needed and seeking to take to others what I had
received. Three years had passed by since that encounter with Jesus
and my return to the Church, when the Lord, in his merciful plan for
my life, deemed it convenient to reveal to me his election to be all
his.
In my mind, it had never occurred to me to be a religious until the
month of May of 1990. From the hands of Mary I returned to the
Church and from the hands of Mary my vocation was revealed. I
remember that I was in final exams, in my eighth semester of medical
school, and suddenly one day, there was a change in my heart. I no
longer wanted to be a physician; I felt that the Lord wanted
something more from me, but I could not give it a name. What
occurred to me that morning of the month of May was the culminating
point of a process of three years in which the Lord, with his love
and delicateness, was molding me and preparing my heart for the
revelation of his design of love.
I ran to the house of my best friend, and I explained to her in
tears what was happening to me and that I felt confused. All of my
life I had dreamed of being a physician, and now I felt with great
interior conviction that it was not what God wanted. I saw that what
he wanted was that I be all for him. My friend saw me and told me:
"All this time I had known that God desired that you be a religious,
but I could not tell you until you discovered it for yourself." When
I heard these words, they strongly resonated in my heart, and it was
as if I was waking up from a dream. Yes, I understood that God
wanted me to be a religious. He had revealed it to me since I was a
little girl; but since I did not know about the religious life, my
ideal was to offer myself as a "missionary."
Everything was put in place, peace invaded my heart, and after
visiting my spiritual director and receiving the same confirmation,
I told the Lord that his will be done in me. I took a semester off
from the university so that I could have more time to pray and see
what God wanted. The Lord had already prepared a surprise. That same
summer the Lord granted me the grace of meeting my Mother Foundress
and the first sisters of our Congregation. In the month of July, on
the 13th, what took place was the encounter that would always mark
this new stage in my life that still continues to develop to this
day. The paths of God are so mysterious and at the same time so
clear when He reveals them.
This encounter was guided by the maternal hand of the Blessed
Mother. Why do I say this? July 13th is the day of the feast of Mary
Mystical Rose, Mother of consecrated souls. It is an advocation that
is very dear to my heart. I could not recount now my encounter with
her because it will never finish.
The Lord opened the doors so that in September of that same year
(1990) I could visit the Community. I visited the congregation with
an expectant heart, hoping that the Lord would indicate his desire.
On September 15th, the day of Our Lady the Sorrowful Virgin, I
received the conviction in my heart that this was the Congregation
where the Lord wanted the seed of my vocation to grow and blossom. I
approached our Mother Foundress, and before the Blessed Sacrament, I
asked her to accept me in the community, to which she wisely
responded: "I will pray, and I will give you a response before you
return to Santo Domingo."
After that moment, the days seemed like they would never end.
Nonetheless, the Lord wanted to test my patience. It was not until a
few days before my return to my country when Mother communicated to
me the result of her prayer: "I prayed, and I am convinced of the
authenticity of your vocation and that the Lord wants you to live
this adventure of love in our community." Blessed be God! His will
was being accomplished.
I returned to Santo Domingo with the goal of leaving all of my
things taken care of since I would return to Miami on the third of
November to initiate my process of getting incorporated into the
community. The Lord did not skimp on his love and the precious gift
he had granted me, so I needed further purification. When I
returned, I told my mother the decision and, even though her heart
was left pierced with pain, she did not place any obstacles. On the
contrary, she remembered that when I was born, she had offered me to
the Lord so that I would be all his and that is how she told it to
me. I also told my paternal grandmother with whom I lived at the
time, and the only thing she told me was that she thought it was
something that would not last.
The Lord allowed my grandmother to become gravely ill. I remember
well that it was the first week of October, the month of the Holy
Rosary, a month that three years previously the Lord, in the Marian
Year, had allowed me to returnt to the Church. My vocation needed to
be tested. After recuperating from this initial serious illness, a
week after leaving the hospital, I had to return with her since she
had suffered a massive heart attack. Before this reality, my heart
was divided, being that if she recuperated, she would need someone
to take care of her, and since I was the only granddaughter, I had
to be the one to do it. However, I remained firm at the time by the
grace of God and I never wanted to change the date of my return to
the Community since I felt in my heart that if I would do it I would
never make that trip.
I prayed, waited and trusted in the Lord. It was very difficult for
me to abandon myself to his will. I had no control over these
circumstances. Nonetheless, his grace sustained me and gave me
strength and firmness. She was in intensive care for three days. On
the third day, October 15th, the day of Saint Thérèse of the Child
Jesus, the Lord came to take my grandmother. His will was done.
After the funeral services, I gave away all of my belongings and I
prepared myself for my return to the Community.
On the third of November of 1990, in the afternoon, I was in the
womb of the Congregation that the Lord chose so that, in her, the
seed that He planted one day in my soul and in my heart would grow
and develop, the seed of the vocation of being a living sacrifice of
reparation and consolation to the pierced Hearts of Jesus and Mary.
Thirteen years have passed by and it still seems like it was
yesterday. Thirteen years in which each day I thank the Lord for
having manifested his mercy towards me.
What an undeserved grace! To be called to participate in the gift of
belonging to a work that His pierced Heart wanted to give his Church
and the world through the Immaculate and Pierced Heart of Mary. May
the Lord grant me to be faithful always.
“All
for the Heart of Jesus through the heart of Mary.”
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