|
Sacred
Scriptures/Liturgy- Commentary on Sunday's Readings |
The Two Shall Become One Flesh:
"Rediscover the Art of Repairing!"
Fr. Raniero Cantalamessa, OFMCap, Pontifical Household Preacher
27th Sunday in Ordinary Time (B)
www.zenit.org
Genesis 2:18-24; Hebrews 2:9-11;
Mark 10:2-16
The topic of this 27th Sunday of Ordinary Time is marriage. The
first reading (Genesis 2:18-24) begins with the well-known words:
"The Lord God said, 'It is not good that the man should be alone; I
will make him a helper fit for him.'"
In our days the evil of marriage is separation and divorce, whereas
in the time of Jesus it was repudiation. In a certain sense, the
latter was a worse evil, because it also implied an injustice in
regard to the woman, which, sadly, persists in certain cultures.
Man, in fact, had the right to repudiate his wife, but the wife did
not have the right to repudiate her husband.
There were two opposite opinions in Judaism, in regard to
repudiation. According to one of them, it was lawful to repudiate
one's wife for any reason, hence, at the discretion of the husband.
According to another, however, a grave reason was necessary,
established by the law.
One day they subjected Jesus to this question, hoping that he would
adopt a position in favor of one or the other thesis. However, they
received an answer they did not expect: "Because of the hardness of
your hearts he [Moses] wrote you this commandment. But from the
beginning of creation, 'God made them male and female. For this
reason a man shall leave his father and mother (and be joined to his
wife), and the two shall become one flesh.' So they are no longer
two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, no human
being must separate."
The law of Moses about repudiation is seen by Christ as an unwanted
disposition, but tolerated by God (as polygamy and other disorders),
because of hardness of heart and human immaturity. Jesus did not
criticize Moses for the concession made; he recognized that in this
matter the human lawmaker cannot fail to keep in mind the reality in
fact.
However, he re-proposed to all the original ideal of the
indissoluble union between man and woman -- "one flesh" -- that, at
least for his disciples, must be the only form possible of marriage.
However, Jesus did not limit himself to reaffirming the law; he
added grace to it. This means that Christian spouses not only have
the duty to remain faithful until death; they also have the
necessary aids to do so. From Christ's redeeming death comes a
strength -- the Holy Spirit -- which permeates every aspect of the
believer's life, including marriage. The latter is even raised to
the dignity of a sacrament and of living image of the spousal union
with the Church on the cross (Ephesians 5:31-32).
To say that marriage is a sacrament does not only mean -- as often
believed -- that in it the union of the sexes is permitted, licit
and good, which outside of it would be disorder and sin; it means
even more yet, to say that marriage becomes a way of being united to
Christ through love of the other, a real path of sanctification.
This positive view is the one that Benedict XVI happily showed in
his encyclical "Deus Caritas Est" on love and charity. In it the
Pope does not compare the indissoluble union in marriage to another
form of erotic love; but presents it as the most mature and perfect
form, not only from the Christian, but also from the human point of
view.
"It is part of love's growth toward higher levels and inward
purification that it now seeks to become definitive, and it does so
in a twofold sense: both in the sense of exclusivity (this
particular person alone) and in the sense of being 'forever.' Love
embraces the whole of existence in each of its dimensions, including
the dimension of time. It could hardly be otherwise, since its
promise looks toward its definitive goal: love looks to the eternal"
(No. 60).
This ideal of conjugal fidelity has never been easy (adultery is a
word that resounds ominously even in the Bible!). But today the
permissive and hedonist culture in which we live has made it
immensely more difficult. The alarming crisis that the institution
of marriage is going through in our society is easy for all to see.
Civil laws, such as that in Spain, permit (and indirectly, in this
way, encourage!) beginning divorce proceedings just a few months
after life in common. Words like: "I am sick of this life," "I'm
going," "If it's like this, each one on his own!" are uttered
between spouses at the first difficulty.
Let it be said in passing: I believe that Christian spouses should
accuse themselves in confession of the simple fact of having uttered
one of these words, because the sole fact of saying them is an
offense to the unity, and constitutes a dangerous psychological
precedent.
In this marriage suffers the common mentality of "use and discard."
If a device or tool is in some way damaged or dented, no thought is
given to repairing it -- those who did such repairs have disappeared
-- there is only thought of replacing it. Applied to marriage, this
mentality is deadly.
What can be done to contain this tendency, cause of so much evil for
society and so much sadness for children? I have a suggestion:
Rediscover the art of repairing!
Replace the "use and discard" mentality with that of "use and
repair." Almost no one does repairs now. But if this art of
repairing is no longer done for clothes, it must be practiced in
marriage. Repair the big tears, and repair them immediately.
St. Paul gave very good counsels in this respect: "Be angry but do
not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no
opportunity to the devil," "forbearing one another and, if one has a
complaint against another, forgiving each other," "Bear one
another's burdens" (Ephesians 4:26-27; Colossians 3:13; Galatians
6:2).
What is important is that one must understand that in this process
of tears and repairs, of crises and surmounted obstacles, marriage
is not exhausted, but is refined and improves. I perceive an analogy
between the process that leads to a successful marriage and one that
leads to holiness.
In their path toward perfection, the saints often go through the
so-called dark night of the senses, in which they no longer
experience any feeling, or impulse.
They have aridity, are empty, do everything through will power alone
and with effort. After this, comes the "dark night of the spirit,"
in which not only feelings enter into crisis, but also the
intelligence and will. There is even doubt that one is on the right
road; if it has not all been an error; complete darkness, endless
temptations. They go forward only through faith.
Does everything end then? On the contrary! All this was but
purification. After they have passed through these crises, the
saints realize how much more profound and selfless their love of God
now is, in relation to that of the beginning.
For many couples, it will not be difficult to recognize their own
experience. They have also frequently gone through the night of the
senses in their marriage, in which the latter have no rapture of
ecstasy, and if there ever was, it is only a memory of the past.
Some also experience the dark night of the spirit, the state in
which the profoundest option is in crisis, and it seems that there
is no longer anything in common.
If with good will and the help of someone these crises are
surmounted, one realizes to what point the impulse and enthusiasm of
the first days was but little compared to the stable love and
communion matured over the years.
If at first husband and wife loved one another for the satisfaction
it gave them, today perhaps they love one another a bit more with a
love of tenderness, free of egoism and capable of compassion; they
love one another for the things they have gone through and suffered
together.
[Translation by ZENIT]
This page is the work of the Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and
Mary
