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Culture of love and life- Post abortion |
POST
ABORTION HEALING: MENDING WOUNDED HEARTS- Part 1
Sr. Maria Jose Socias, SCTJM
Introduction:
Pope John Paul II's encyclical The Gospel of Life (No. 99):
“I would now like to say a special word to women who have had an
abortion. The Church is aware of the many factors which may have
influenced your decision, and she does not doubt that in many cases
it was a painful and even shattering decision. The wound in your
heart may not yet have healed. Certainly what happened was and
remains terribly wrong. But do not give in to discouragement and do
not lose hope. Try, rather, to understand what happened and face it
honestly. If you have not already done so, give yourselves over with
humility and trust to repentance. The Father of mercies is ready to
give you his forgiveness and his peace in the sacrament of
reconciliation. You will come to understand that nothing is
definitively lost, and you will also be able to ask forgiveness from
your child, who is now living in the Lord. With the friendly and
expert help and advice of other people, and as a result of your own
painful experience, you can be among the most eloquent defenders of
everyone's right to life. Through your commitment to life, whether
by accepting the birth of other children or by welcoming and caring
for those most in need of someone to be close to them, you will
become promoters of a new way of looking at human life.”
These words of our Holy Father bring so much light about the
terrible consequences of abortion. Indeed, as the Holy Father says
“The wound in your heart may not yet have healed”, this is such a
profound wound that goes beyond our own understanding because it
affects the core of being a woman that is to be a “barer of life.”
1. THE WOUND OF ABORTION, IS IT REAL?
For the past thirty three years we have been dealing with a reality
that many have wanted to hide for several reasons:
a. Because it interferes with the agenda that has been imposed on
our society of a “false” right to choose.
b. Because admitting that abortion affects women and men in such a
deep and catastrophic way, would mean accepting the fact that the
famous slogan that abortion is for the well being of women is not
true, on the contrary is a big lie.
c. Pro-choice advocates often hesitate to recognize the reality of
post-abortion grief because they fear this means they have to
recognize the death of a baby, which may somehow undermine the
political argument for legal abortion.
d. In order to gain the consent of women for the abortion they have
been told that the procedure will remove a "blob of tissue" a
"product of conception", or a "pre-embryo." They have been assured
that their "problem will be solved" and they will be able to "get on
with their lives” as though nothing significant had happened. The
pregnant woman have been asked to deny the fact that she is carrying
a child at all, even when she can see and experience the changes in
her own body (her menses has stopped, her breasts are enlarging, she
is sick in the morning or even the whole day...)
Society has been trying to avoid a truth that is starting to be
spoken clearly and loud in our days. From 1973 to 2006, 46,000,000
million abortions have happened in the USA alone. This means that
more than 40 million men and women have been influenced and affected
by this tragedy.
In recent years this reality has been more exposed to our public eye
because many of those who have been hurt are speaking about their
own experience. They are “silent no more”
This has brought new light and insight about this wound that is part
of the lives of millions.
Recent studies have shown in the “scientific arena” the factual
existence of this Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) that is
becoming an epidemic, using the words of Dr. David Reardon. “An
epidemic of invisible mourning and pathological grief.”
Grief as we all know, is a natural consequence of death. Current
obstetrical and psychiatric literature abounds with articles about
grief following perinatal death- death due to:
Spontaneous abortion
Premature birth
Stillborn
Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
In recent years the medical profession has come to the understanding
that perinatal loss can be followed by a grief reaction that is
similar to the loss of an older child or an adult.
"I can state most assuredly that couples with recurrent, unexplained
or explained early pregnancy losses grieve as intensely as those
with later losses or losses of live-born children. Their grief is
not visible, however, since society, family, friends, press, or
clergy do not support or are not trained to support them. The grief
is very real and if unattended can eventually be felt by them to be
aberrant, unnatural, or even unhealthy." (Beer, EA: New horizons in
the diagnosis, evaluation and therapy of recurrent spontaneous
abortion. Clinics in Obstetrics and Gynecology 1986; 13:115-116.)
As a response to this we see that many Hospitals have in their
obstetrical units, teams of physicians, nurses and social workers
trained to help parents deal with perinatal death and the issues of
grief, anger and guilt.
In the British Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology dated Sept 1990
says:
"Ways of helping parents cope with their losses have been
recommended and have reduced the frequency of prolonged emotional
disturbance and of abnormal grief reactions .... Ways of
facilitating the grieving process have been identified. These
include seeing and holding the dead baby, giving it a name and
taking photographs; all help make the situation a reality and to
create memories. It is difficult to grieve when no memory of the
individual exists." (Wathan, NC: Perinatal bereavement. British
Journal of Obstetrics and Gynecology 1990;97:759-760.)
By acknowledging this fact, If we reflect upon it we have to come to
the understanding that for a post abortive man or woman this need to
grief is very real, the only difference is that our society does not
acknowledge their pain, as a matter of fact, is like it does not
exist at all, is the “forbidden grief” spoken of by Theresa Burke
and David Reardon in the book that have the same title.
When a woman goes to an abortion clinic she is not going to find a "Perinatal
Loss Team" to help her deal with her confusing and perhaps
overwhelming feelings. She is typically alone, without her partner
during the procedure. There is no dead child to hold, no
photographs, no funeral, burial, or grave to visit, no consolation
from friends, relatives or clergy. Her only memories are of a
rushed, painful procedure and of her own efforts to convince herself
that what her "abortion counselor" had told her was true.
The psychological defense mechanisms of denial and repression are
massively in effect by the time she leaves the clinic. It is not
surprising then, that "exit poll" research and studies of the
immediate post-abortion days, weeks and months find that women feel
relieved and claim to have no adverse psychological aftereffects of
elective abortion.
2. HOW ARE PEOPLE AFFECTED? PAS
Post Abortion Syndrome
This is the name given to the series of symptoms that a woman that
has gone through the trauma of an abortion may experience.
PTSD is the name given by therapist and doctors to the defense
mechanisms we use when we have a traumatic experience of any kind.
Is not a tangible thing, like a virus. It is a label used to
describe a specific grouping of psychological symptoms.
It can be described as a psychological disorder that results from a
traumatic experience that overwhelms a person’s normal defense
mechanisms. The shock of this experience is so great that the
person’s defense mechanisms become disorganized and disconnected
from reality, either temporarily or for a prolonged and indefinite
period of time.
Abortion is a traumatic experience that has the capacity to unleash
one or more of the following symptoms:
1) Low self-esteem
2) Grief
3) Depression
4) A sense of alienation from family and friends
5) A feeling of being “numb”, not able to feel joy from activities
that used to be pleasurable
6) Isolating self from others to avoid discussing the abortion
experience with them
7) Guilt and shame
8) Difficulty concentrating
9) Anger towards self, or the child’s father, or others involved in
the abortion decision
10) Sleep disorders Abortion related nightmares, flashbacks or even
sounds of baby’s crying
11) Anniversary reactions of grief or depression on the date of the
abortion or the baby’s expected due date
12) Problems bonding with her other children (being over-protective
but emotionally distant)
13) Fear that God will oust her, or is punishing her
14) Some , especially young girls, experience symptoms soon after
the abortion
(depression, loss of self-esteem, self-destructive behavior, sleep
disorders, memory loss, sexual dysfunction, chronic problems with
relationships, dramatic personality changes, anxiety attacks, guilt
and remorse, difficulty grieving, increased tendency toward
violence, chronic crying, difficulty concentrating, flashbacks, loss
of interest in previously enjoyed activities and people, and
difficulty bonding with later children. (Reardon, Aborted
Women-Silent No More, (Chicago: Loyola University Press, 1987).
Reardon, "Criteria for the Identification of High Risk Abortion
Patients: Analysis of An In-Depth Survey of 100 Aborted Women",
Presented at the 1987 Paper Session of the Association for
Interdisciplinary Research, Denver. )
Among the most worrisome of these reactions is the increase of
self-destructive behavior among aborted women. In a survey of over
100 women who had suffered from post-abortion trauma, fully 80
percent expressed feelings of "self-hatred." In the same study, 49
percent reported drug abuse and 39 percent began to use or increased
their use of alcohol. Approximately 14 percent described themselves
as having become "addicted" or "alcoholic" after their abortions. In
addition, 60 percent reported suicidal ideation, with 28 percent
actually attempting suicide, of which half attempted suicide two or
more times.
Not all women experience all this symptoms, some may experience
clusters of symptoms; others may have a very dramatic and
debilitating reaction; still others may appear to tolerate the
procedure and its aftermath with little, if any, effect at least
during the period in which their reactions are studied.
But when one sits and listens to the intense pain, grief, and
confusion women experience after an abortion that was supposed to
make their lives better, it is easy to understand their need to
withdraw and deny their experience. Without the understanding and
support of loved ones, it is simply too much to bear on one’s own.
No woman is safe from this negative emotions.
This is the reason why now more than ever we need Post abortion
healing ministry is so crucial. We need to respond with compassion
and love to all those who suffer from the pain of a past abortion.
The Church with her arms open offers to them the forgiveness and
healing form the Heart of Christ through the Project Rachel Program.
May the culture of life triumph!
This page is the work of the Servants of the Pierced Hearts of Jesus and
Mary
Copyright © 2006- SCTJM
